London Business School 3 - 10 OC's

The absence, once again, of self-appointed player/coach Ian Jones provided the inspiration for the Old Cliftonians to notch up their first win of the calendar year against a belligerent LBS side to maintain their unbeaten run at three games. Jones was left to rue from the touchlines, his ill-advised hobby of naked fondue which had led to three successive groinal injuries, persistently denying him the glory of an OC debut.

The quest for a venue befitting their status took the OCs to Berrylands - A part of London so remote and backward that the oppositions back row couldn't help but feel that they were back in Arkansas chewing hay. Indeed the faraway location almost led to the prospect of another game with uncontested scrums as at kick-off time the OCs only had two front row players. Fortunately the opposition kindly offered up their reserve prop as a stop gap - and what a stop gap - a man so vast he had to go to Seaworld to get baptised. However the ridiculous alliance with the OC's diminutive pack was not to be, for a sambuca and kebab-fuelled Nick Cussen arrived just in time to take his place sending the upbeat Chubster back to his LBS team-mates armed with the OC's lineout calls.

The match got off to a high-octane start with backrow powerhouse Dave Bosomworth nailing an unfortunate would-be-businessman with one of his trademark piledriver tackles. This was typical of the attritional early exchanges with forward play, big hits and too many penalties being the order of the day. At this early stage the backs were unable to break the stubborn LBS line despite Matt Mann's excessive dummying. The OC captain persisted with this hip-jiggling trickery - often looking not unlike Forest Gump at his teenage son's disco - but couldn't fool the savvy LBS defence.

The first 15 minutes belonged territorially to the OCs who were unable to convert this advantage to points. The first points of the game went to LBS as the referee spying Dan Unsworth and Henry Brace in their ludicrously tight shorts blew up out of jealousy. The LBS number 10 mercilessly slotted the kick over from 35 yards and the OCs opposition had drawn first blood for the third game in a row.

Incensed by the injustice of the scoreline the OCs stiffened their resolve and ground out the yardage with Karl Jochem and Stu Muncer continually breaking the gain line in the three-quarters and back row triumvirate of Dave Bosomworth, Dom Dewerson and Alex Evered putting in excellent work at the breakdown with OC ball being recycled far more efficiently than had been in evident in the first quarter of the match. It was tragic that Dave's match was to be shortened by a recurrence of a severe neck injury originally suffered in bed whilst craning to view his own backside. Dave was rushed off to hospital and we are happy to say he is on the road to making a full recovery. He was ably deputised for by OC veteran Rich Mann.

OC debutante Paddy Ko was starting to look a class above the rest at scrum-half displaying great hands, intelligent decision-making and prompt distribution to Matt Mann whose inventive running lines and quick, accurate passing were beginning to create space for wings Paul Kellett and Owen Verrier-Jones to exploit with their pace. At around the half hour mark Paddy produced an outrageous piece of skill in successively chipping the LBS line from his 22 and then the fullback only to be narrowly denied a glorious solo try by a covering LBS wing who was forced to carry the ball over his own line. In a case of the sublime to the ridiculous, Paddy followed up this excellent display by dropping a tap penalty five metres out when about to cross the line. A similar piece of inspiration by Paul Kellett involving a multi-tackle breaking dash was prematurely cut short when the hapless Kellett sliced his kick into touch like a blind man with gout.

The OCs would continually make good ground and put together multi-phase possession only to come undone with handling errors or harsh penalties. However excellent defence particularly from Rich Mann, who produced a phenomenal dump tackle upon a rampant LBS second row, ensured that the OCs maintained good field position.

The OCs required inspiration from any quarter and so cometh the hour, cometh the man. It was getting late in the first half and the OCs were now in the opposition's half but LBS had a scrum. Despite being dwarfed by the opposition's front row, and subject to extreme provocation, Chris Cowan and Nick Cussen once again showed that great scrummaging is all about technique and discipline. Spurred on by the excellent platform provided by his props and despite the poor personal hygiene of LBS's front row, Brace, the OC's plucky and talented hooker, was unbelievably able to take another ball against the head - this time fully from under the number 8's nose. A moment of brilliance to behold that will be talked about by all present for many a year. LBS were stunned, yet the awe and jubilation of Brace's humbled team mates was deafening. They all loved him and wanted to be him and he knew it. If time could stand still then that would be the moment clocks would stop for the Old Cliftonians and their followers.

The OC backs took this manna from heaven and pounded the shocked LBS line with phase after phase of quality free-flowing rugby with Paul Kellett, Stu Muncer and Matt Boardman all involved in a move which saw Matt Mann take an inspired running line, throw a cheeky dummy and break the tackle of a flailing American to dash home and cap an excellent OC spell of play with a deserved try. Mann junior kept his composure to coolly strike the further 2 points from a tricky angle.

Half-time couldn't come early enough for the stricken LBS team as Alex Evered's incisive run and release to Owen Verrier-Jones was harshly adjudged forward by the referee. It would have been a fine try for the whinging Welshman who evaded a lunging tackle from the full-back to touch down and he can count himself unlucky having had tries in each of the OC's two previous games disallowed.

The OC's coach Jones was notable by his absence at the half-time team-talk perhaps embarrassed by his knowledge of his flock. Early in the first half he can be heard on the video camera to opine "great tackle Richie Mann" when Rich in fact was a sub at this point in the game and standing next to the foolish monkey. Half time saw sweeping changes with Rory Morrison and Shandy (Andrew Fieldhouse) replacing Josh Galaun and Stu Muncer.

The second half got off to a poor start with Paddy Ko producing what he would later describe as "the worst drop-kick in the history of rugby" - a weak grubber that popped accommodatingly to an LBS centre who gorged on the loaf like crumbs from the OC table by romping half the length of the pitch only to be denied by a cracking tackle by Matt Boardman at fullback. The OCs were on the back foot and were missing Josh Galaun at the lineout, who had so effectively cleaned up scrappy line-out ball by both sides in the first half. Matters in the lineout department weren't assisted by LBS's liberal interpretation of normal lineout rules.

As the minutes ticked by and the teams tired, the game became dominated by penalties and increasingly acrimonious exchanges between the two sides with Rich Mann and the reinstated Josh Galaun expertly playing the ref, and filling the roles of both antagonists and innocent pacifiers at the same time like the unlikely progeny of Vinnie Jones and Mother Theresa. New arrivals Shandy and Rory Morrison played doggedly, with the former (in his lust to chase up a penalty) wiping out his winger, the unfortunate Verrier-Jones.

Showing considerable maturity and composure Matt Mann converted a penalty from 30 yards as the game drew to a close to make the OCs odds on for the win. However only with determined defence and the fortune of LBS coughing up the ball over the line were the OCs able to endure the final 10 minutes for a deserved victory. The OCs may not be so fortunate in the future and will need to convert more of their possession and territory to points against the old-SOASians in a few weeks (8 February) if their unbeaten record is to be maintained. Many thanks in this defensive effort to impact subs Ernie Hanson and Mark Lee who came on for the final quarter and both defended and attacked with the vigour of a rabid wolverine.

After match drinks were held at LBS's local in Baker Street where drinks and food were generously laid on and the animosities of the game forgotten in true rugby fashion. Tragically the OCs were unable to make it a double, being handed a crushing defeat in the boat race. Both Galaun and Boardman betrayed their impressive match performances earlier in the day by putting in lamentable efforts at pint-downing resulting in their hair being even more wet and greasy than normal.

Man-of- the-Match was a close run thing with Rich Mann, the Richard Hill of OC rugby, putting in another colossal defensive performance. However for the shear weight of his contribution and volume of his dummying the spoils have to go to his brother Matt who was the sole OC points scorer.

Henry Brace