OC's 42 - 26 Old Paulines

Old Cliftonians 42 Granny Girlie Names 26

The first 20 minutes of this game was one of the strangest periods of a Rugby match that I have ever played in. It was as if the game was unopposed for those in possession. The tackling from all areas of the park was abysmal. Whoever came up with the ball from the kick off were pretty much guaranteed a try. Our team in particular were slow to realise that we should try and bring down any opposition player with the ball.

Why was this? It could be the fact that the OC's were dumbstruck to discover they had the smallest starting flankers ever seen in Rugby history. Supposedly there is rumour that smaller flankers exists in the under eleven's mini Rugby league in the impoverished and undernourished town of Blackstead in the North East but that hasn't been verified. Thankfully the flankers were able to showboat their other talents and Chris Alsop, in particular, showed tenacity and speed around the pitch that Neil Black would be pleased with.

The size of the backrow was improved by the reassuring sight of the bulky Richard Butler at No.8. And to further beef up his apprearance he turned up sporting a spanking new scrumcap, gloves and body armour. Sadly all this merchandise was to no avail. In an early scrum the ball sat beneath the second rows' feet, not seen by all-the-gear-no-idea No.8, whose headguard had slipped over his eyes. The scrum was lost and off came the scrumcap. Then at half time, the deceptively huge Butler went into a blind panic. "I can't breathe, the lycra is too tight!" he screamed in a high pitch as he wrestled his body padding off. Clearly the lycra, known for it's high elasticity, proved too much for Butler's chest. The gloves sadly fared no better. A simple tap and charge by the folically challenged Butler broke down when the ball failed to stick in his gloves - "Engineered for Extra Grip to Improve Handling TM", and dropped to the ground for a knock on. All that said, Rich made some hard yards throughout the game and even sidestepped one mystified defender.

Back to those first twenty minutes; whatever the cause of our defensive inaction, we found ourselves with only two tries to their three.

Things improved however. Especially amongst the forwards who became one. Indeed, they were like a tank, with the ability to drive over anything. The quick and talented backs (dented by the loss of Sqeezy and Benny Gibbs due to hammys/sniper fire) relished the quick ball that was being recycled with ruthless efficiency, and the OC's quickly ran away with the game. The defence also vastly improved and the O(A)P's didn't threaten our try line in the second half.

In short, the final 60 minutes was a monumental team performance. Bring on the OHJs on the 13th March.

Tries: Sqeeze 1 (2 conversions) Matt Boardman 1 (4 conversions) Simmo 2 Euan 2

Ian Jones