Easy
does it as the OCs Moseley on through
This week saw the OCs play their 4th game on the trot. Battered
and bruised from the barbaric game that was Warlingham,
everyone was keen to get the blood and adrenalin flowing
once more. One Mann, however, was not so sanguine and commented
about the fear of getting hurt whilst we were driving down
to Cranleigh; the other members in the car were less than
impressed by this standard of chat.
Cranleigh is a quaint little town 9 miles south of the closest
train station, Guildford, and proved a bit of a hike for
most people. Although few (of the team) had visited before,
most of the team found the place with consummate ease. For
some, the one straight road from Guildford proved deceptive
and lacklustre driving and orienteering yielded 7 latecomers.
The result was that each player arriving late was immediately
plunged into a creditor/debtor relationship with the OC
RFC by each owing a jug of beer to the squad as a whole.
If there was ever the time to prove that time waits for
no man, this was it. Those on time basked in the sun (and,
dare I say, the glory of arriving early and the heady thought
of receiving free beer) and duly started their warm up at
the requisite time.
The day was bright and dry and proved ideal conditions for
running rugby. The day saw a number of debutants in the
form of Roy Martin (an ex-Moseley player) and Mick Messum
(a utility player who can play every position (Ed. yes,
prop included) save fly-half and second row). There were
also seasonal debuts for Oli T (the jéan-ger Thompson twin)
and Ian Valentine (just jéan-ger, thankfully with no twin).
In fact, it was scary how many gingers we had. As we warmed
up, everyone (including the late ones) showed good intensity
and commitment to the cause. As the manchild referee blew
his whistle to signal the captains, and as Georges Clemenceau
(French PM, WWI) once said: “War is much too serious a matter
to be entrusted to the military”, so the London OCs stepped
forward into the breach once more.
The game started brightly as the OC pack showed their full
array of skills from the kick off with nice clean catches
from various members of the pack, all duly set up by solid
rucks and mauls to set the backs free. The highlights of
the first half were some brutal hits by the pack and some
excellent foraging (for the ball for a change) by the likes
of Don, Henry and George which gifted the OCs their first
scrum. As the packs went down Ali T was consistently being
head butted by his opposite man. When Ali responded with
his own party trick, the front row was not the place of
tranquillity we all know it to be. One OC heard Ali say
it was tough scrimmaging and he was a bit tired of it –
this was 3 minutes into the game…..However, front row aside,
from this position, the plan was simple. Give the ball to
Simo and Roy, stand back and watch. So that’s what most
people did whilst Roy took his man on the outside and as
he was tackled by the full back, he offloaded the ball out
of the back of his hand to the supporting Simo. Mick calmly
converted.
Tries came aplenty in the first half, with Mick, Kellett
and Roy all dotting down. However, there was one try worth
mentioning for its sheer absurdity. As we all know the Chausettes
D’Or is awarded to the valiant and skilled. In this instance,
in stark contrast to the qualities set out above, if we
had the Chausettes Brun to award, we would award it to the
scorer of this try. As most would agree, RM would have to
get these for his negative carry try (although Steve Hartland's
palming the ball into touch in fear of being tackled nearly
won the day). After a pressure scrum against the Cranleigh
pack on their line, a superb monkey-like hounding and chanting
from Gor produced the most inept pass to their fly half.
This was followed by K Lo chasing down his opposite man
and tackling him by his shirt. RM then peeled the ball from
their fly –half’s hands to score at -2 yards. Excluding
his second try of the day, RM has accumulated 3 tries in
the last three games making (net) 1 yard in the process.
Roy was noted to have said, “that was such a pikey try,
you basically parked a caravan in the try zone, you pikey".
As the game progressed, the forwards domination showed and
the combination of Steve “the Heartbreaker” Hartland’s pinpoint
throwing (sans beer gut and the Lakeside stadium) to Oli
T and Josh yielded a 100% line out record for the day; as
Darth Vader once said, “Impressive, very impressive”. However,
as we all know, the Wagon weighs a fair bit (thus his 12
metre turning circle) and superb lifting by each of Ali
T, Henry, George and RM and Don’s clearing up ensured the
best line-out performance, for and against, we have seen
in recent OC rugby history.
The
second half saw much of the same flowing rugby as the first
half. Si PW’s “strained coccyx” suddenly healed as we were
30-40 points up and his willingness to play raised certain
eyebrows. Don kindly gave way to Mr. Narcissus.
Further tries from George Thornhill, RM, Roy and some excellent
takes by the Kellett to set up his try all proved to be
the fruits of the team’s labours. By this time, Mick had
tired of kicking the conversions so Roy thought he would
have a crack; and crack he did, as his nerves (and skill)
left him and he spiralled the ball to the other side (about
the 22) of the field from where he stood. In golf, he would
have had to play the rest of the game with his pants down.
However, on this occasion with friends and family watching
and the fact one might have had to ruck and maul with him,
this was not an option. The second half’s most notable moment
was Tino’s 5 yard try. It was not so much for the forwards
great mauling technique to trundle down the field 20 yards,
but for a pass which most expected never to happen. To this
day, most are baffled by Simo’s actions (ill? delusional?
cramp?) but it ensured Tinos place in the history books
(as a try scorer and as one player noted “possibly the slowest
wing he has ever seen”). History will not remember Gaylaun
though who said he was “well on” for a try; however, the
history books don’t lie and his name fails to appear amongst
the archives……A special mention must go to the “pass of
the day” from Gor – under huge pressure from an offside
scrum-half, Gor managed to pick off the perfect pass to
K Lo to set up Roy for his 4th try of the day.
After the game, there was the usual post match banter (normally
amongst the OCs) but strangely enough, this time it was
with the oppo. In the time honoured tradition, the OCs took
on Cranleigh at a boat race. With many refusing to take
on the challenge, RM was made to lead and end the competition
for the OC crew. From the start, the OCs were flying along
with RM, Henry, Rich Butler and Simmo all performing admirably.
Then it came down to a man, whose downing skills match the
calibre of wretches ridiculed by Anne Robinson as the Weakest
Link, as OVJ put pint to lip. Gone was the 2 pint lead,
the 1 pint lead, then we were half a pint down before he
handed the baton over. RM had no chance at the back whilst
starting his 2nd pint. As per usual, they claimed it was
now 1 – 1. Yep, 77-0 is the same as losing a boat race (Ed.
I’d be claiming the same if I’d lost though, let’s be honest.)
In the end, what mattered most was who excelled beyond all
others. Yes, the backs scored the tries but Josh M-anus
Galaun duly deserved the Chausettes D’Or for his excellent
catches off kick-offs, line-outs and his unquestionable
level of commitment in the tackle and in support (which
nearly ended up in his first score of the season). Josh
was duly punished for winning the Chausettes D’Or by being
made to drink out of his pint through the coveted veil of
the Chausettes D’Or (Ed. these hadn’t been washed in 2 years).
After the match, everyone agreed that no-one would commit
their fellow OC to the same fate – this is now law number
32 in the OC charter……
Kev