Gutsy OCs clip Eagles wings

The art of playing badly and winning has long been attributed to a good team. Expert analysis has shown that if you play beautifully, and still end up the loser means that you’re either unlucky or just useless. History is littered with examples of teams at the zenith of their power, such as the much-lauded Brazil of Zico and Socrates at Espana ’82, which have left competition empty handed. Fast forward four years to Mexico ’86, as Argentina, relying solely on the drug addled, cheating, short-a**e Diego Armando Maradona and a motley crew of butchers masquerading as defenders, became the worst team to lift the Copa Mundial in living memory. The Beautiful Game it most certainly wasn’t.

This salutary modern day sporting parable is repeated every weekend up and down the country, and October 14 in leafy Surrey saw the OCs win ugly. Damn ugly. In fact, as ugly as one of Josh’s Wessex House conquests. At the end of the day, four points are four points, and the OCs were able to extend their mini unbeaten run to three matches by triumphing 35-29 despite a desperate late onslaught.

The 2pm deadline for arrival that had been instigated as a result of the Bec Old Boys shambles meant that a decent sized squad reported for duty on time. Ali T did breath a sigh of relief after checking with an independent adjudicator on whether it was one minute to two rather than one minute past two. An excellent warm up left the squad sweating like an Israeli bus driver, and the forwards were able to work on their lineout options, leaving the backs to go through their moves.

When the cheerful octogenarian referee blew his whistle, no OC team had been so well prepared, and soon Matt Mann had taken a smart offload from Tom Drummond-Wilson to touch down under the posts. Unbelievably, his conversion hit the post. Another raid down the left-hand side saw Phil Fretwell bundled into touch ten yards from the line. Unfortunately for Phil, he injured his ankle pretty badly, and had to be replaced by Kev. On numerous occasions, the OCs threatened, like Kevin Bacon, to cut loose, but either the final pass or desperate defence kept them out.

The boiling hot day and the erratic interpretation of the laws from Old Man River meant that the game was very much of a stop-start nature, with both sides struggling to establish any rhythm. Once again Rich Mann and Gor led the way in defence, whilst the lineout, as with previous games, functioned superbly, with Josh soaring through the air like Christopher Reeve pre-showjumping accident.

Despite a well worked try from the opposition, the OCs looked to be going in at the break with a healthy lead thanks to a couple of expertly slotted penalties from Matt Mann. However, on the stroke of halftime, a quick line out taken by the Eagles saw some extremely indifferent OC defence and the leaking of a very soft try. The score - 11-10 to the OCs, with many of the team exhausted and morale low. However, cometh the hour, cometh the Vasey.

As Rich Mann unselfishly left the field at half time to pursue a career as team physiotherapist (Josh – “he was so sprightly you would have thought he was born to be a carer”), he was replaced by Vasey, who was making his first start of the season. This left the expectant Rich Butler, fresh from an all-night session of Texas Hold ‘Ems, disappointed on the sidelines, chomping at the bit.

Perhaps it was the inspirational half time pep talk, or perhaps everyone caught second wind, but the nature of the conquest changed in the next 20 minutes. If the first half had been attritional, the first 20 minutes of the second half saw the OCs, like P Diddy, pop the Crystal and score some super tries. Gor, Mick Messum, Matt Mann and Paul Kellett all scored superb team tries as the OCs turned the screw in the hot sun. The opposition, who train twice a week, had no answer to the finesse and fitness as the forwards provided Grade A ball and the backs showed off skills that would have every rugby romantic purring.

With three-quarters of the match gone, and the OCs with a healthy lead, now was the time to consolidate and push home the advantage. To credit the opposition, they never gave up and, and with five or six decent players, and some shabby decision-making from the OCs, they launched wave after wave of attacks on the OC line, and with 5 minutes to go, there was only 6 points in it. Heroic defence and a couple of strange decisions from Pops meant that the OCs were able to hang on to make it to the summit of Surrey Combination League A.

With reflection, a win is a win, especially when the team played below par. Once faced with the searing heat, a larger pack, and shirts weighing the same as medieval chain mail, the forwards put in a sterling shift. The front row of Steve, Henry and Ali T all trundled prominently in the loose and took several strikes against the head. Henry also had the added bonus of being awarded the Chausette’s Rosé. Congratulations to him. Both Josh and Oli T ruled the roost in the lineout, not only securing quality ball on our throw, but also making a mess of the opposition lineout. Special mention goes to Josh, who soldiered on manfully after a stamp on his shin, thanks to some TLC from Rich Mann. The back row of Rich Mann, Tom DW, George, Vasey and Rich Butler (making his season debut with some erratic touch judging and industrial language to fellow spectators) all struggled manfully with the heat and opposition No 8.

Some superb breaks, a great try and awesome defence (apart from one massive bounce on him) combined with interesting passing (although he will no doubt blame the Pops getting in his way) meant that Gor was the deserved winner of the Chausettes D’Or. All the backs – Matt Mann, Andy, Paulos, Mick, Kev, Paul K, Phil and Chris Watson looked dangerous with ball in hand. Special mention to Chris in only his second game of rugby, he put in some very good tackles, didn’t get beaten and also presented the ball very well when he was tackled.

Positive points – the first twenty minutes of the second half, the set piece, the obvious skills of the backs, everyone putting their bodies on the line, the result, combinations are beginning to gel, timekeeping.

Stuff to work on – more (positive) communication, defensive lines/chases, tackling, touch-finding.

To vanquish a hitherto unbeaten team, who practice twice a week, in blazing heat and not play well is a good shout. The OCs may not have a Maradona, but they won ugly.

Next up are London Cornish, reputedly a good team. Just no one watch Deliverance tonight.

Tolstoy